I found an old photograph of a piece I did for a colleague I used to work with a long time ago. It’s an acrylic painting called, “Calling The Pack”. The photo is awful and doesn’t show the painting very well, but I really liked the piece and need to find him so I can take a better pic. I’ve lost touch with him, and that is sad.
I thought about the painting, what it says, what it means to me. I’ve spent the better part of my life trying to fit in, to do what is expected of me; working in jobs I can’t stand, and don’t bring me closer to where I want to be and being with people with whom I just don’t mesh with.
“Oh, those golden-yellow eyes of the wolf! You can feel yourself being pulled in. I knew I had been accepted – and that I had spoken to another species.”
~Jean Craighead George
It’s not their fault, and it’s not mine either. It’s just that I haven’t taken the time to find those I resonate with. My ‘pack’… those people who energize, and ‘get’ me. Those that I ‘get’ too.
In the past year I have made a lot of choices about who I want to be and what I want to do, to create my own life. I have been lucky to find a few wonderful that I feel at home with. I have reconnected with lost friends too—people who mean a lot to me. I need more of that though because in many ways I’m a lone wolf, and it’s easy for me to get lost in my daily routine, in my studio painting or otherwise alone doing my thing and it’s been days, or even weeks since I have spoken to anyone. Then I turn around and realize that I miss the company of my people. My pack.
I need the interaction, the give and take, the support of good friends. I need to give myself the opportunity to support others too. We all do.
TinyBuddha has an article on finding one’s people here.